Jasmine.

Eight years ago, at this very instance, I was counting from one to five  in an attempt to overcome painful contractions. Then I’d take long, deep, breaths. One-two-three-four-five….breathe in, breathe out…one-two-three-four-five…breathe in, breathe out…

The vehicle’s accelerated momentum, hubby’s gentle reminders and instructions, all the previous Lamaze infos blurred instantly. What was clear then was the excruciating pain brought about by an effacing and dilating cervix, as if a giant’s pushing hard from within me. I thought, my goodness, it doesn’t make any difference at all whether you’re a first-time mom or a second-time mom. Why didn’t I have the same luck as other women who can deliver a child just by standing!?

You’ll know the baby is coming out once labor pains happen at regular, closer intervals. And so I distracted myself from birthing anguish by counting. Did it made things easier? Partly, yes but I still made a promise not to have another pregnancy. My only concern was to make it through our destination without my daughter dangling between my legs. When I reached the hospital, the scenario was even weirder. They took a blood sample from me since my skin had a pallid-yellowish color. The doctor suspected I might have had a jaundice. Right after that, I was told to undress and put on a green gown with the entire back area exposed, was put on a stretcher, and was told to wait until the dilation reaches 8-cm. Other would-be moms beside me were wailing endlessly, commanding the attending nurses to call the doctor and send them to the Caesarian section. They were like “Dok, biyakin nyo na…” I was suppressing my laughter while the others were in their semi-acrobatic stint. Kanya-kanyang porma na. May nakatuwad na, may nakadapa, may nakataas ang dalawang paa. Hala.

Somehow, I was proud that I managed to keep my cool, despite the throbbing sensation. I shut my mouth and observed instead. The pain was no joke! It felt like the baby’s boxing my innards out. Twice I gave birth, but during those times, it was only myself and the husband. I did not experience giving birth with my mother’s comforting presence beside me. Despite that, and deep inside — I know my mother was praying hard for me and her grandchild’s safety.

After two hours of laboring, my second and youngest child was set to see the world. But being the KSP that she is, the entrance must have with it some drama. It has to be grand. My MONTHS of practice and breathing exercises did not work. I was battered and hopeless. I told myself, alright, you’ll have to do this one last push okay. What I did instead was to shout horrendously while pushing hard. The doctor, who was gentle at first, started to panic. I was really shouting at the top of my lungs, the other moms outside thought I was dying! Finally, Faith came out. And she came with the loudest cry a newborn infant could muster. The doctor said, “o yan tuloy misis–nagmana sayong anak mo, ang lakas humiyaw!”.

Happy 8th birthday, Faith! We are so blessed to have a daughter as sweet, as bright, and as loving as you are.