Perhaps it’s the crazy weather.

I woke up this morning feeling terribly dizzy like I’ve spent five hours straight on a Ferris wheel. The last time I went on a ride, I was frantically shouting at the operator to stop the freakin’ machine ora mismo or I’ll puke the whole damn place. Amusement parks, you see, have this certain lure for the young, yet, never in my childhood days have I tried one. When the chance came though, I almost regretted it. Faith was laughing hard at my desperate pleas to stop the wheel from turning. At the same time, maybe she’s embarrassed at the sight of her mother catching her breath, as if on a mild heart-attack! What we previously planned to be a merry experience became an ultimate nightmare. Suffice it to say that it was exactly how this day’s opening salvo’s like, dramatic and all that…

My early morning ritual usually consisted of searching for my slippers who seemed to have a life of their own. My hide-and-seek playmates, they often position themselves under the bed, dresser, book stand, computer table, etc.

I also gather my strength by uttering a silent prayer and preparing myself for the day’s surprises (uhmm, they come in many forms). But I was greeted instead by a whirling sensation. The room was a giant washing machine and I am the sole piece of cloth inside. Everywhere I turn my eyes into, I see fast-moving objects. One step forward and my feet are ready to betray me. Do I have any choice? I have to get back to bed otherwise, I’ll look like some human rag that’s been used for a hundred years. Could it have been the weather? Extreme humidity at daytime and freezing cold at nighttime, how’s that? Or maybe, my supermom-toil is taking its toll on me? The price I pay for having that grand illusion. Lol.

Naah, I definitely am not going to be a mom for the third time! Hubby and I agreed that once the two kiddos reach college, we’ll have to embark on an interplanetary sojourn! Why, its a great motivation investing on high-tech space suits this early. Hehehe. Having a third baby is like killing that dream.

Anyways, lie in bed, I did. Soft pillows, warm sheets…wow!

And as they say it: there are opportunities even in adversity. What a nice excuse to lie all the day and enjoy the company of my books (both read and the ones waiting to be read). In my previous blog entries I wrote about the obvious heartache it would take to dispose any of them. As I brace myself from throwing up, my eyes caught these two treasures given by former colleagues. I got them in 2007 when I was about to leave the academe, and the other one in 2005 from the college-based organization that was my advisee for several years.

Indulging in these works proved helpful in my life’s most turbulent periods. Like most people who are prone to desolation, I have a tendency to easily give in to my own frailties. Paolo Coelho’s Warrior of the Light and Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life were among my life boats (next to the family, of course). You just have to heed their erudition when ghosts of past hurts come visiting. One has to come to terms with his soul’s needs as well. I’m a self-confessed sucker for wisdom literature.

Paolo Coelho expressed these lines beautifully:

The Warrior of the Light sometimes behaves like water, flowing around the obstacles he encounters. Ocassionally, resistance might mean destruction, and so he adapts to the circumstances. He accepts, without complaint, that the stones in his path hinder his way through the mountains. Therein lies the strength of water. It cannot be touched by a hammer or ripped to shreds by a knife. The strongest sword in the world cannot scar its surface.

The river adapts itself to whatever routes proved possible but the river never forgets its one objective: the sea. So fragile at its source, it gradually gathers the strength of the other rivers it encounters. And, after a certain point, its power is absolute.

And these lines by Rick Warren in Purpose Driven Life equally shares the same effect:

As you grow to spiritual maturity, there are several ways to cooperate with God in the process. Believe God is working in your life when you don’t feel it. Spiritual growth is sometimes tedious work, one small step at a time. Expect gradual improvement. The Bible says, “everything on earth has its own time and its own season”. There are seasons in your spiritual life, too. Sometimes you will have a short intense burst of growth (springtime) followed by a period of stabilizing and testing (fall and winter).

What about those problems, habits, and hurts you would like miraculously removed? It’s fine to pray for a miracle, but dont be disappointed if the answer comes through a gradual change. Over time, a slow steady stream will erode the hardest rock and turn giant boulders into pebbles. Over time, a little sprout can turn into a giant redwood tree towering 350 feet tall.

ooOoo

And oh, I guess I know the reason for the dizzy spells. My bp reads 90/70.

On a different note, Christmas is just around the corner! 24 days to go. Time to start looking for giant socks to accomodate Santa’s presents!

Happy Yuletide everyone!