Jasmine.

In a matter of weeks, my two younger brothers will be graduating in college and high school respectively. Finally I can now heave a sigh of relief.

Early last year, my parents requested that I take ward of them during this final phase in their academic life believing they need role models to look up to. Nanay and Tatay have always been a staunch believer of education. They ingrained in my young mind to persist no matter what it takes to be educated. (True enough, I took it seriously even if it meant skipping meals and taking odd jobs.) Since my youngest brother dreams of becoming the best cock fighter and “tambay” in our small village in Bikol, they decided to have him spend his fourth year in HS under my tutelage.

But I must say, the process was never easy.

Adjustments had to be made, in terms of disciplining, time, attitude, etc. I have to make plenty of sacrifices especially with my youngest brother who thinks refusal to accept authority is in vogue. In fact, the times I have sought my parents’ advice outnumbers the amount of time I allot in minding my own children. Who wouldn’t be alarmed if your brother goes out late at night apparently for reasons any sane mind will have difficulty comprehending? Or when you go visit his school and find out he’s smoking inside the classroom? Or if the teacher tells you straight-face that your brother had been skipping his classes? Worse, I caught him piercing his lower lip with a needle! There was also one occasion when I spotted a huge mark on his right shoulder, the kind that you see marked on animals? Gross!

When I was his age, I knew my responsibilities well. It never entered my mind to try alcohol or any vice for that matter, cut classes, and all the stuff that will jeopardize my future. I was ever studious and serious. Although that might not be an ideal way to handle personal and school pressures – I’m glad I was successful at finishing school.

People are idiosyncratic. That’s why I respect differences, as long as it does not bother anybody. However, it’s an entirely different case when you are dwelling with other people. You should learn, as much as the other party tries to, adjust. Unfortunately, I didn’t see any of that happening with my brother. And this is when I start to scold them. The older one, we call him Nono (my third sibling), was mature enough to handle my nagging moments. Oh you bet, I get angry every time I go upstairs and see what a mess they’ve made of their room! I get ballistic at the sight of unwashed dishes. I transform into a monster when I see they did not even bother sweeping the small garden upstairs. But that’s just how I am. After the nagging, I do all the jobs and messy chores they left. The clothes scattered on the chairs are put inside the laundry basket. Papers, pens, scissors, cutters strewn everywhere are placed in one area. Floors are swept free of litters and dry leaves. And even if I am mad, I still hand him his allowance.

All because I care. I do not want them to live a miserable life in the future. My constant reminder “Please help yourself as much as other people tries to” pisses him no end, telling me to stop because I’m like a broken record. Maybe my siblings see me as the evil sister because I always try to meddle and insist on my share of thoughts. But I take that with a grain of salt. No matter what, they are my sisters and brothers. I get affected by whatever hurts or frustrates them. And being the eldest, I can’t seem to take that they will suffer the same heartaches I encountered along the way.

In the final analysis — we are still a family. When all else turn to shambles, who will accept you with both arms? Who will be there even when you made the biggest of mistakes without judging you? Family members are our best friends, they don’t leave us…they stay behind all the time… Yet, they also do not tolerate evil ways and they’re always ready to praise you when you need one.

Maki and Nono, happy graduation!