quicksand

As usual, I suspect this is going to be another busy day for me, although I can not say for sure whether I’m excited or not. Why does my heart felt odd,  devoid of any emotion. Have I lost my heart somewhere? Oh well, with or without my beating heart, life still has to move on.

I heard the clock strike eight, and after examining myself on the mirror one last time, I scampered to the nearest PUJ station. “Please drop  me off at CLSU”, I told the driver. My eyes surveyed what’s inside the vehicle. Nothing quite exceptional. There were students who looked as lifeless as I am, some employees (I can tell by their uniforms), and then some vendors with their produce.

Ten minutes later, I saw myself alighting the PUJ at the University’s main gate along with other passengers.

Suddenly, I changed my mind. Hey, this brain seems acting strange too. I wonder if this is the same old brain my parents bestowed me with. It felt empty.

The gate was open yet my feet seemed much to heavy for me to stride and get inside. My mind decided that I walk straight ahead, past the century-old trees along the highway. I walked ’til the school was no longer visible. How come there were fewer houses now? I mean, what’s the matter? There has to be houses here! My eyes are deceiving me too. Am I heading to Sitio Batong Buhay in Villafloresta? It sure looked like the same village I brought my entire DC 120 Class in 2006. A remote area.

I walked even farther even all I’m seeing are paved roads, not a single house or building in sight. My blouse felt soggy from combined dusts and sweat. But I kept on walking. Finally I saw a sari-sari store. “Is anybody around?” I desperately need to ask for directions. I am lost. No one seems to hear. A huge, brown dog resembling the Border Collie breed was sleeping peacefully on the store’s hallway. I didn’t know why without any warning, it went ahead and assailed me. Next thing I know, I was thrown off-balanced and it was chewing on my arm like a bubble gum. Fear is gripping me all over. I hate the sight of blood dripping on my left arm. Oh please, God. Let somebody rescue me from this monster. Help, please!

Out of nowhere, two unknown male specie came. The other one introduced himself as a healer. He produced a tissue and an oil then applied those unto my injured arm. Thankfully, I felt better. The other one kept talking about an activity we’re supposed to attend thereafter. “Be ready”, I was told. Another woman came in to the picture. The three of them led me to walk once again. Without question, I followed them.

The place we’re heading to seems familiar now. It was prairie-like on one side and with rice paddies on the other. When you drop by our place in Pili, there’s a small creek at the back of our house. If you follow that route, you will go straight to what I previously described. I don’t know why every time they tell me where to go, I often find an excuse to somehow have my own way. Another surprise character appeared, none other than my mother. She smiled at me and said, “you’re going to be baptized.”.

Sorry? But I’m already a Christian, some x years ago.

I continued to walk anyway, them (two guys, the woman, and my mother) on the prairie, and myself alone on the rice paddies. Then it happened.

I fell on the quicksand! Just at a time when my eyes were staring at the group of people wearing white and doing baptism on water. Help! I can’t breathe!

The woman told me, as if it wasn’t any problem, stick to the hard part, don’t panic and you’ll be fine.

Weeping and tired, I almost wanted to die. What an ordeal but I continued to struggle. I feel the earth is trying to swallow me whole. I held tight with all the strength I could muster, mud and all — until I was safe. Mother asked, “where’s your sandal?”, and I answered back, “Am I going to be the next?”

And it all ends there. My bad dream. What could it possibly mean?