JASMINE IN MY MIND

I have mentioned this before and I will say it again today – I am no political animal. I am not well-versed in Philippine politics nor do I have sufficient background regarding the subject.  The closest I can brag is my cuatro in PSc10 (Intro to Political Science & New Constitution), which is equivalent to 96 – 100%  in ADNU back in College. I will not pretend I know any better. However, there are certain instances that call for vigilance especially if it’s the welfare of the silent majority that’s at stake. On such occasions, I’d rather voice out my opinion than feign ignorance.

Which brings to mind Thailand eighteen years ago. Army soldiers rained bullets to about thousands of protesters in Bangkok who were revolting against a general after appointing himself Prime Minister. The demonstrators were either seriously wounded or killed as government troops fired their guns without pity. Nobody braved military censors save for one news media outfit. That dark period in Thailand banned publication of photographs and details of the carnage. Now, does that sound familiar? Our country has its own share of gore and bloodshed to tell, as well as intentional media blackouts to cover them up. This administration alone records the highest in extrajudicial killing involving journalists.

Why is the Freedom of Information (FOI) Bill so much of a big deal? Why am I even ranting about it?

I have always regarded INFORMATION as something precious, even sacred to people for it educates and enlightens and eventually can spur one into intelligent decision and bring in desired action (hah, never mind the endless “and”) . Information is freedom – from ignorance, from poverty, from corruption, from bad governance, from culture of secrecy. Information control, we can say then, is sine qua non to political control. No wonder a bill ready to be ratified in fifteen minutes time, a bill that’s fourteen years in the making, a bill that when enacted would have bring to fore and uphold true democracy – met its morbid death! Its pretty interesting why the CAMARA conducted themselves that way, and in front of the national viewing public. I witnessed an interview with one of the principal authors, CIBAC Partylist Representative Joel Villanueva and Atty. Nepo Malaluan – Access to Information Network co-convenor. They were denying the absence of quorum that was the CAMARA’s scapegoat for not ratifying the bill. They need at least 135 congressmen to be present but apparently only 128 was around. In fact they were wondering why the roll call wasn’t in alphabetical order, and those that were actually around hadn’t been called.

What are our beloved leaders so scared of? If I am going to offer an analysis, I’d say that the number of corrupt officials absolutely outnumbers the good guys! If this very important bill has been stalled just like that, something is worth examining. Could it be that the bad guys are afraid of being exposed? FOI Bill will not excuse them from giving people access to their lifestyle, their spending patterns, so on and so forth.

What a waste! Ratifying the FOI Bill would have brought reforms in many areas. People will have wider access to services previously unknown to them. They can participate in government initiatives. There will be a genuine sharing of power. But for now, these will have to remain a dream. Until the 15th Congress ratifies it. Pray it will.

Well, yes. There is definitely something about summertime that makes it exciting to all young people. Not only are they freed from the bondage of numerous assignments, quizzes, and class recitations — they also find time, plenty of it actually, to play and just be themselves!

Somehow in this fast-paced, money-dominated culture of ours, expectations about the role of children in the family and society also have started to change. Many children have lost touch with what its like to be a kid in exchange for food to feed their hungry mouth. Many are denied the chance  to bathe under the summer heat, to visit relatives, to do picnics so they can help mother and father earn a living. Sadly, poverty had long blurred many young people’s concept of summer.

I am a mother and as such, I want my children to live a normal life. So I let them be. Besides they are responsible kids as far as school work  is concerned. In the same manner, I believe they have to be guided about the things that will make them learn and be happy at the same time. Today for instance, I suggested an activity for them not to get bored. Origami making! Faith and Elmo, judging by the way they spent the whole day, had a great time. Here are a few of their origami art pieces.

Berry wearing an origami samurai hat & shuriken

origami chair

origami piano

origami tote bag

lady bugs

double star

fortune teller

lotus flower

puppy

polar bear

mouse

elephant

Faith busy doing her origami art pieces

Lately, my inner censor prevents me from blogging. I do keep a small notebook where my scribbles and outlines are contained but I wonder why I can’t compose a sensible entry. Psychologists, according to Erica Jong, has a more appropriate term for this. Flow state (characterized by the suspension of the sense of time, the obliteration of self-consciousness, and the feeling that we are doing something for its own sake and not for its own outcome). That flow isn’t really working for me over the past few days. Most people rely on liquor, drugs, etc. to create something, a poem, music, story…Unfortunately for me, I don’t do such things just so I can tune in with my self or with the world.

(Click to listen to the background music.)

However, last night while checking my high school yearbook – I saw an old picture inserted within the pages. Flashbacks came rushing like heavy torrents of water. Perhaps my flow state has some connection with the visual.

The year was late ’90s and I was actively involved in community theater. Being a development communication student in Ateneo de Naga at that time, I saw it both as an opportunity for praxis and personal growth to be part of such an endeavor. I helped mobilize a group of talented children and youth into a theater group that will serve as advocates for child rights protection. That’s also when I appreciated more the beauty of development work, the passion that drives NGO/GO/PO workers to plunge into marginalized areas, reach out to the disadvantaged and be an agent of change. Devcom is not a basic science but an applied one, making it an integrative discipline and lending itself to dynamism and people-centeredness. I knew right then that I took the right course in college.

Life was quite simple then. I devoted much of my time attending rehearsals and presentations. We are a group of 25-30 people: casts/characters, props men, technicians (the ones in-charged with lighting and sound effects), the bus driver and the NGO staff (the brainchild of such advocacy tool). We literally jumped from one barangay to another, spoke with village leaders, mingled with other youth and children. In our own little way, we were able to break the culture of silence among typical families in the countryside as far as child rights is concerned.

On a more personal level, it is indeed such a pleasurable experience recalling how each member’s relationship with one another had improved dramatically. We became closer and were comfortable telling our own joys and pains, even our own secrets. The theater group made us into one big family of friends. After my class, I’d go straight to BCAT’s Training Dorm with a big smile plastered on my face. We get reprimanded from time to time. As young people, you see, we can be stubborn and hardheaded. But anyway, all of us often looked forward to a couple of days of get-together and practice. I remember the times I couldn’t get my lines straight and when I did “hahaha” a hundred times so I could sound as sinister as my character required. Our routine meant continuous rehearsing to have a more realistic presentation.

Every time a play is on the way, we gather at either BCAT or Penafrancia Resort. A hired bus (the one driven by Tiyo Roslin who passed away last year, God bless his soul) would take us to the training center then to our destination. Sir M would often tell us, “what an experience huh! you traveled all the way from the mountains just to visit another mountain!”. That is because we mostly go to places with no access to electricity. Good thing we had a ready generator. The areas often required walking because of steep slopes. If its rainy, we need to walk barefoot. We spend the nights on some elementary school buildings as well.

A stage play means setting the backdrop (sometimes using only an open space or a basketball court/no stage at all), preparing all the music and lighting effects, doing the customary throw-lines, putting on the customes, applying make-up, characterization, etc. At one time, we ran out of hairspray — my friend JJ used an egg white as a substitute and smothered it on my hair. Yaikks. But when you’re ready for the role, you dont care even if you smell like a rotten cheese.

The day succeeding each play was also memorable as we often go swimming or doing picnic. The picture I posted was in fact taken at Malabsay Falls in Panicuason.

Noel Cabangon’s “Kanlungan” (the background music) was our anthem… reminiscent of our Shibashi mornings, an exercise we did for years while the group was still intact and functioning. I remember “separating the clouds”, the “rotating wheel”, and “balancing chi”.

Ahhh, those were the days! Half of all my happiest memories combined were in it, which is why I treasure those moments so dearly.

We are on the last throes of November and soon after, its Christmas time once again. Unlike the previous Christmases though, we may not be visiting folks in Bicol for the traditional Noche Buena and Media Noche. Hubby and I are to spend the Yuletide season together. Here’s the story. Faith and I left for Pili last year, while he and Elmo stayed in San Jose. So we were actually miles away from each other.

We are also saving to buy something we’ve been wanting to have.

Some good news.

My daughter, for several days now, has been coming home wearing a beaming expression on her face. Faith is naturally a happy kid, so you can imagine how she behaves when elated, as if in a trance! Last time she proudly showed us two nice-looking key chains given by her teacher. It’s because she’s consistently getting high scores in her subject. Today she’s jumping with joy for getting plus points in her art project (a paper weight made of stone, painted with watercolors) Nice piece of work, bebegel!

I super love my blog’s new layout! Maraming salamat, WordPress.

My real intention’s to churn a decent entry for the day. But actually this is what I wanna do. I want to get a pair of scissors, sharpen them until they glint like gold, then cut my hair till I look like Britney! Why should you do that, you wanna ask. Because I am so bored right now.
Forgive me for the bland title though. It’s the kind J would mercilessly point as “walang kalibog-libog”. You bet it’s pretty normal for one to lose all tinge of creativity after burying his head into FB for a long period of time. Por Dios por Santo, what do I expect ‘noh? I’ve been hinting the only benefit I derive from FBing is a temporary respite from ennui. Thanks to the geniuses of FB apps. Thanks also to the daily barrage of status updates, links, pictures (ranging from pro, pseudo, to plain human-peacocks).

Pick your choice. Either you join the bandwagon or friggin’ regurgitate into caveman-hood. Facebook is like a marketplace of distinct personalities and ideas. There are intellectuals, artists, musicians, etc. and there are newbies who somehow find a way to “friendsterize” it. And this vast new world of online social networks — Facebook, along with MySpace, YouTube, Twitter —has certainly affected many parts of our lives. (See, I’m blogging about it all the time.)

On a different note, I promised myself to be more diligent in updating this blog. It’s what the deity of words revealed to me after offering a sackful of coffee beans from Yemen and a truckload of fresh sugar canes imported from Brazil. Nah, shoot me in the head. I’m just pulling your leg. (Hey, I’m gonna make a confession!  I was dozing somewhere when God gave mankind the gift of humor. Now you know why…)

To learn to appreciate the purest rhythms of life, to listen to silence, to stay still are essentials in the quintessence of writing. Sadly, we have been accustomed to chaos that mere silence translates immediately to boredom. Moments of silence are opportunities to slow down and recompose the self. Hear your own breathing. Listen to your heart. Talk to yourself.

I guess that’s all I can say for now. Have a nice day.

(Doesn’t look like I made any sense at all. haha)

Years of teaching plus a solid  encounter with different types of students had created a big impact in my life and has taught me to ponder what was I like as a student myself. Did I annoy my professors with how I always chose to keep silent in their classes and how I allowed my brain to do the processing instead?  Why, I need a considerable amount of coaxing before I can have the extra courage to stand up and say my piece. That was not all, I was (consistently) in the bottom quartile of my high school and college classes in Mathematics! Up until today, I still have nightmares of failing the subject and not making it to the graduating class. My strength is language (as far as I know hehe). However, this article isn’t about me. Truth be told, I have been wanting to write something about the most memorable AB Development Communication students I had in my years with the academe not because they belong to my favorites (admit it or not, teachers do have their chosen few) but because without knowing it — they gave me certain realizations. Priceless.

Some of them are antagonists, some are really made of sweet stuff, and some are simply amazing.

1.  The Emo Kid. I sometimes think of her as the crying lady or the drama princess because of her propensity to cry (I swear her tear glands are so active that she cries, happy or otherwise!). We became really close friends during the time she was in CLSU until today. This despite the fact that I seldom make friends (a colleague once said I seem to be overly protective of my own bubble). But what made her personality endearing to me are her qualities of being reliable (not just as a student and friend but as a leader as well), persistence to finish a given task even if it means sweat and blood, her sweetness, her courage to point out your wrong, her openness, her lack of pretensions. And to top it all up, before her graduation, we had to battle with nasty stalkers. When I think about it now, I know that part only made us closer together.

2. Ms. Sunshine-y Lady. It’s every teacher’s delight to see a beaming face inside the classroom from time to time. Ms Sunshine-y girl is the epitome of positive thinking, always smiling as if telling me ” everything is gonna be okay”. She does well in class in fact, she’s among the top 5 in all the courses/subjects I handled in their batch. Her essays were not impeccably written, but always with honest-to-goodness stuff injected in it.  I wonder where she is right now?
(To be continued)