Inspirational

The Big Scare

January 22nd, 2017

Negative. The word in itself connotes something harmful or bad, and yet today, “negative” means celebration. For days and weeks now, I’ve been having morning sickness, dizzy spells, missed period — signs usually associated with conceiving or pregnancy.

Alam mo yung namamalengke ka lang tapos makakaramdam ka ng pagkahilo, biglang panlalamig ng sikmura, parang masusuka?

Forever the paranoid, I immediately dropped by the nearest drugstore and bought pregnancy kit after experiencing the sensation.

Why all the fuss?

For women like me in their late 30s, with two teenagers, the least we have in mind is to go through the same bittersweet predicament fifteen years ago. Fifteen years old na kasi ang bunso ko. Oo, masaya sana na may bulilit ka pa sa bahay, laruan pag nabuburyong, kakampi pag inapi ka ng mag-aama mo, pero marami din kasi talaga ang dapat na i-factor-in sa ngayon, age notwithstanding. Kailangan mo ng KKK. Kayamanan, kalusugan, at katapangan.

First of all, I have an allergic rhinitis. A friend in high school almost had rendezvous with the angel of death when she conceived in her mid-30s. She also has rhinitis. Imagine the ordeal? The sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes plus the medication could possibly be harmful. Thankfully, she and her beautiful daughter survived to tell their story.

Second, life is more relaxed now with grown-up children. To conceive means to give up your me-time, to wait for your tummy pop up after nine solid months, to see yourself in the mirror with puffy every-thing (nose, eyes, chin, feet, hands, etc).

Third, conceiving means saving more money! You don’t just burst a child into this world to suffer. A parent must be able to give proper care, education, nourishment, and all other requirements for the baby to grow normal. Di ba? Ang complicated. Sana kung pwede lang na basta umire sa hangin at bahala na si baby sa buhay niya. Pero hindi nga ganoon.

Anyway, the kit showed just one purple band visible on the test region. Hooray! It gave me a glimpse of hope that the monthly red will soon follow. I was so yabang and all, like a real gung-ho. But in the days that followed, wala pa rin. Hinayupak. Saan naglamyerda ang monthly red, aber! My fear escalated. Besides, the morning sickness and dizzy spells won’t go. Yesterday, I decided to perform another test. Walang sukuan to. Pucha.

There’s a slight probability (maybe) that the first test got wrong. Eh kasi ginawa ko sya in the middle of the day. Ang sabi sa instructions, wait until early morning for your urine is most suitable since it generally contains the highest concentration of hCG or human chorionic gonadtropin.

Well, surprise.

Result says negative still!

Jowa was supposedly excited. He told me about considering a good OB Gyne, a nice-sounding (and profound?) baby name, and talking our panganay and bunso to raising their baby brother or sister. Baka daw nung umalis sya ay tumakbo ako sa doktor at pinatanggal ko para negative ang lumabas. Mga ganung eklavu. To be honest, I’m also excited with the prospect but not with the difficulty that comes with it.

Could there be false result? I don’t think so. However, there are possible reasons for false result:

  1. Abnormal medical condition. So far, wala naman akong ganoon. Unless sasabihin mong abnormal yung allergic rhinitis ko. Hindi naman. Ako siguro, pwede pang tawaging abnormal most of the time.
  2. Ectopic pregnancy. Walang history nito sa angkan namin. Eto yung pregnancy outside of uterus.
  3. Ovarian cyst. I had a general check-up at safe naman si matris, sabi ni ate doktora!
  4. Expired kit. Nyahahaha! Di ako bumibili ng expired na pregnancy kit.

So that’s the story.

I guess kailangan na naming mag-celebrate. Yun lang!

Pure, Unadulterated,Wednesday “High”

November 23rd, 2011

 

You think life is hard as shit? Oops. Not too quick. Think again. You see, life can be uber fun and rife with pleasant surprises. It can be harsh, yes, but it can also take you to a whole new level.

Yesterday, I was absolutely floating in mid air. Zero gravity, dude! And if it isn’t obvious enough why this sudden “high”, here’s why.

I browsed eBay for something I’d been hoping to have since early this year. In 2010, I had to shell out my entire Christmas bonus and savings as counterpart for my parents’ piece of land in Bicol. I didn’t actually bought anything for myself. But I finally found this thing on eBay and was instantly mesmerized. It’s been discounted at 30 percent off. Instead of paying its original price pegged at 8.5K, I was able to have it 5.9K.


A day after my payment confirmation, I received an email stating when I shall be receiving my package. A couple of days more and voila, I already get to enjoy its many surprises. Life after all isn’t all crap and shit.

Now I will have a reason not to squeeze in my schedule the yearly book fair, which is quite inconvenient on my part as I’m not based in Manila. Besides, my Amazon Kindle 3 can hold up to 3,500 book titles. Suck it! Hahaha. The only downside, I guess, is that I can’t have local (Filipino) titles. But aside from that, all else is upside: battery life, wireless coverage, PDF support, text-to-speech, plus stacking up against competition. This is one of the best e-readers, so the reviewers claim.

There’s a new version called Kindle Fire that comes in full color, but I’m after functionality. I just need to read, so I don’t mind if my e-reader comes in black and white.

Out of excitement, I asked hubby to fill my Amazon Kindle 3 with books by interesting and favorite authors – Stephen King, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Amy Tan, Chuck Palahniuk, David Sedaris, Franz Kafka, Harper Lee, Ian MacEwan, Malcolm Gladwell, Stieg Larrson, and a lot more. Am currently poring my eyes at Tucker Max’s “Assholes Finish First”, and Steig Larrson’s “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest”.

I can’t thank the heavens enough. Thank you, Universe!

*****************

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.”

Rainer Maria Rilke (Austro-German lyric poet, author of Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus, 1875-1926)

on Being a Blessing to Others

September 15th, 2011


When I was about to go to work this morning, I resolved to take whatever form of transportation’s available & ready at the PUJ station: motorcycle, bicycle, dump truck, car (ohlalala!), kariton, carabao, kuliglig, Santa Claus’s sleigh ride, jet plane?! Why not, I was already running late and we have a scheduled masswork at nine in the morning. I’m willing to ignore my “pride chicken” if only to be at the office on time.

My pink knapsack contains a medium-sized kitchen knife (haha!) in lieu of a bolo, to help me keep our atrium free from grass (hmmm. showbiz.). Oh yes, I am sooo not pulling your leg. I even thought of bringing with me a herd of goats. Sadly, we don’t have that at home, in the same way that we don’t own a bolo.

Back to my story, this jeep I was talking about seems to me like an old one.  Perhaps even older than the one driving it. On top of it, “lolo” driver didn’t give me my change for the thirty pesos I gave. Yet, I didn’t feel bad or irritated. I was not tempted, in any possible way, to resort to anything outrageous simply because I didn’t have my change. He and his old jeep reminded me about what humility and contentment are. Most of all, I am reminded how we should be a blessing to others.

It’s a no-brainer. There are a gazillion ways to do it. One maybe is by adjusting the way we look at people and certain situations. Maybe, by being more forgiving of human imperfections. No one is perfect, no one has the monopoly of knowledge, and certainly, no one has the right to look down on others. Having said that, I am quite disturbed to hear those who make fun of others on the basis of behavior, way of thinking, manner of speaking, or physical attribute. Every person is a gift. And though we’re all created in the image and likeness of God — we are unique from one another. Aside from that, I think we’re all raised by our parents to become good citizens.

There are times I succumb to human frailties especially when it comes to protecting my own family. But that’s an entirely different story.

Yesterday, there was an unexpected windfall (read: I am the exagg queen). I received a blessing from out of nowhere. And it sure surprised me. Another of God’s fantabulous handywork, I guess. They say, you should not break the chain of blessings. So, extend it, I did. Believe you me, nothing feels greater than helping people out. What goes around, comes around, ey?

Remember what Charles H. Spurgeon said: “A good character is the best tombstone.  Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered.  Carve your name on hearts, not on marble”.

What My Work Desk Says About Me

July 6th, 2011

Yo! I took a quiz from the Female Network (femalenetwork.com). And now, I’m wondering if there’s anything wrong with the way I answered all eight questions. Hmmmm. There is something terribly wrong with the results! Hahaha.

Your work desk style is SPARTAN! You live with the bare necessities, and you don’t have any problems with it. Despite toxic work hours, you manage to pull everything together, looking as immaculate as you always do. You’re no high-maintenance chick, as you use what you need.

You’re not one to make a fuss over every little thing, and people don’t have any trouble in getting along with you. You’re most likely to remain calm in the face of trouble, even though people around you are losing their minds with panic. Because you’re clear-headed and sensible, people always go to you for advice. You like keeping your desk neat at all times, with everything in place. While keeping grace under pressure is an admirable trait, it will also be good to go out of your comfort zone to try out something new.

Live, Laugh, and Love

January 30th, 2011

Live….laugh…and Love
By John McLeod

Live well dear friends
In all you do,
Tho’ paths be old
Or paths be new,
But to yourself
Be ever true,
Live well!

Laugh often friends
Tho’ passing years
Bring, sometimes, smiles
And, sometimes, tears,
For mirth forever
Warms and cheers
Laugh often!

Love much dear friends
For love will bring
The healing joy
And hope of Spring,
Where pain and fear may never dwell
Nor anguish touch….

And so Live well,
Laugh often too,
And more, dear friends,
Love much!

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