Gentle Wings

October 2nd, 2009

Do you believe in angels?

I was intently stirring my ginataang sitaw last night to remove the lumps when I suddenly had this hit-on-the-head realization about how generous God has been all these years. As if it was a divine sign that the aluminum sandok sends over, I reflected on those countless times angels were manifested right before my eyes.

Why them winged heavenly beings? So far, that’s the closest metaphor I can give to describe them. After all — weren’t we fed with the same description from gradeschool storybooks over and over? Why can’t they have a big nose, just like Shrek’s? Why do they have butterfly-like wings  but never those of winged creatures found in the wilderness? Can you imagine one with a buri hat on the head instead of halo or crown of flowers? In my seven-year-old vocabulary, angels must be cherubic in order to qualify as one!


That same angelic picture remained even now that I’m all grown up. But my definition of them has definitely took on a new level. I know they are around us. Some have no names. Some are in total disguises. Some are at arms length though we’re unaware of them. And then there are some, whom we thought are “devil”. These gentle wings around us offer enlightenment when we needed them most. They are present in our moments of despair and mirth.

Some months ago, I was secretly crying at how critical my function is, having been tasked to organize a big conference in two weeks time. Within that period, I have to invite the bigwigs in the NGO world. My stress level was surging frantically. Calls had to be made to know if the guests will confirm because I had to find replacements  in case the invitees decline. Letters, emails, fax were to be distributed and followed-up from time to time. Conference materials and tokens had to be prepared. No wonder my dreams  included unfinished business during the day. Aside from that, I had to gather data that will be used immediately after the event.

Every day felt as if I am waiting for my execution. Think about death row! Haha. Will they give me lethal injection, firing squad, hanging rope, or an electric chair? But angels are a relief. They come in those people who are ready to forgive (or at least laugh off) my mistakes. I do not forget that in the middle of my fits of confusion, these angels gave a ‘yes’ to our invitation, despite a misspelled last name or a quick notice. Those small gestures meant the world to me.

I’d also like to believe that my friends are half-human, half-divine beings. Come to think of it. They were right at my side all the time.  When negative feelings and thoughts come at my doorstep like some unwelcome, uninvited visitor — God sends them over. On those days when misery clouds  me with loneliness — I’ll see a buzz in my yahoo messenger. A small talk is all it takes to comfort a friend. When apathy suddenly struck, an angel comes to the rescue to take me somewhere, say, to serve as a judge for an oratorical competition or to speak before eager college students. Each milestone I make, my “resident” angels are there to cheer me up (my two little kids and the hubby, of course).

This morning, I chose to become a blessing to others by donating all our used clothes to the victims of Ondoy. No gesture, I believe, is too small for our brothers and sisters who’ve been subjected to life’s harsh little jokes. As I write this, I see dark clouds in the horizon. My family in CamSur also texted me earlier. Rain is so hard that the small creek beside our house started to fill with more water. May angels be around so they’ll be spared from all possible danger.

I will forever be grateful for their presence!

What about you? How do you perceive your angels?

Loneliness, grief, great disappointments
take on new meanings as they are suddenly
illumined by the
grace of true witnessing.
And what are they really?
Believe it or not, in a moment of clarity,
I hear God whisper to me that they are ALL
mere disguises for happiness! (J. Paredes)

Sweet Escape

September 8th, 2009


As they say it in Latin, carpe diem!

We live in a world where everything is fleeting and temporary. Changes occur in nanoseconds flat and new discoveries are born every once in awhile.  The stupendous-ness of it challenges us to learn to go with the flow, to master its language. Kung iisipin napakabilis ng extinction ng bawat bagay. Madaling malaos. Mabilis mawala. Why live a life of misery when you have all the opportunity to savour the sweet life TODAY. We have the power to transform a plain, boring existence into a cool one like heading into some place enjoyable.

And this is what Jun and I did the past few weeks.


My idea of fun can be summed up into one: communing with nature. Honestly, nothing makes me more restless than living in a contaminated environment. Put me inside a noisy bar if you want to drain all my energy or see me transform to a breathing zombie. Blinking lights drive me bonkers, I swear! The first time I attended a “baylihan” (social dance) in my village, I got dizzy and immobile to my dance partner’s dismay. I also can’t stand too many people in one setting, unless I suddenly develop some crazy desire to become an overnight politician, which is impossible. Hmmmm.

I always long for the calm and serene. In fact, my own definition of “high” is witnessing lovely sunrise and sunsets, flowing river, the boondocks.  In other words – I’m such a super junkie for nature.


Right at the heart of Cabanatuan, I found the right place to bring my family and friends should we decide to go sightseeing or relaxing. It’s called Hunter Valley Plantation and Resort. Jun brought me there to see the spectacle that is the resort. I was to take part on a web project for Hunter Valley (Jun will execute the website development, graphic design and  photography while I handle the content).  First thing I noticed was the lagoon. The sunset’s reflection on the water reminds me of my favorite movie “The Notebook”. It was so romantic that, well, perfect enough to be made into your PC’s wallpaper. Beside the lagoon was a newly-built chapel which, according to the brilliant owner, was her father’s dream.


Inside the Hunter Valley are well-designed hotel rooms and amiable resort staff. The moment we entered the lobby, we were greeted with smiling faces. A car immediately brought us to our room. They also prepare affordable yet delicious meals. Hubby and I feasted on their version of pansit, seafoods, and other recipes. People going this place will never be disappointed as the whole area is soooo big. That’s not an exaggeration. The resort is actually big enough to house one entire baranggay. Imagine 26 hectares of land.


One day, we shall bring the kids to enjoy and learn at the same time. We were told they have educational packages where children get to see a variety of animals: birds, amphibians, etc. Faith, who took after his father’s inquisitiveness, will surely satisfy her curiosity. Meanwhile, Elmo may display his “abs” in the multi-level kiddie swimming pool. I don’t know if my son is intentionally doing it, but he seemed to have lost his baby fats. At 9, he is already conscious of his weight.

The gardens are noticeably well-landscaped. I have seen photos of couples who were married in Hunter Valley. Their pictures bespeak of perfection. Need I say more? We were also informed that movie stars frequent the place.

If you want to know more about the resort, visit the link “Hunter Valley” in my blogroll or follow this link: ( Have fun! Carpe Diem.


August 5th, 2009

Forwarded emails used to occupy 60 to 70 percent of my Yahoo account inbox. Oh, make that yahoo ‘accounts’ since I’ve been keeping two active yahoomails in the last seven years. Don’t you just hate them? I mean, these mails take up too much of your time specially the ones with super-duper laking attachments.

Looking back, I lose patience every time I have to sift through or download PowerPoints. And then of course, mawawala ba ang mga modern-day ‘chain letters’ (telling you to send 9 copies of so and so or else, somebody will die…or seven years of bad luck will happen to you). Ridiculous. Para kang nasa hayskul, magudnes!

I must admit I dreaded such kinds of letters, but nowadays ewan ko ba …I practically had to search for old interesting ones in my vault. Nakaka-miss din. Eh paano naman, simula nang mauso yang facebook — panay FB messages na lang ang dumadating sa akin. Kagabi, I revisited my old emails. Okay naman pala, lalo na yung mga nilaktawan ko. Maraming magagandang mensahe na di ko nabasa until today.

The one below was sent by a friend and former colleague.

I miss you both, Ivy and Sha! Sana magawi kayo dito (sa blog ko hihihi)

– – –

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you
right. Forget about the one’s who don’t. Believe everything happens for a
reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.  If it changes
your life, let it.  Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.



Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you can’t get them back.
So I’m gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

Little Kikay

June 30th, 2009

One good way to bond as mother and daughter is going to the salon and having both your kikay instincts go full gear! Pampering yourself and relaxing create wonders as both of you get to enjoy, unwind, de-stress, and re-vitalize all at the same time.

While writing this, I seem to hear Jun’s voice shouting “cliche”. Oh well. 😉

Let me tell you a few things about my youngest daughter. I have always perceived of her as the inquisitive type, always the one to ask the weirdest of questions. I wonder if she wants to pursue a career in hosting talk shows or writing for showbusiness. Lucrative career path ey.  But being the scatterbrained mother that I am, its always a great challenge answering her queries. Most of the time, I end up telling her to approach her Tatay.

Yet, we have very similar traits.

We both love music. Faith is so persistent on this one that I have to guide her how to properly sing the lines. Among my daughter’s favorites are Barbie Songs (“Connected”, “Believe” from the “Barbie and the Diamond Castles”), Annie’s “Tomorrow”, “Rainbow Connection”, and last week — she was bugging me to download and teach her the lyrics of an OPM called “How Did You Know”.

Faith and I both love visual arts. At seven, she’s very vocal about being an artist in the future. Or I dont know, maybe it runs in the blood. Elmo also does well in drawing and sketching (usually anime characters). Faith on the other hand, volunteers to design a card everytime there is an occassion like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Christmas.

These are her own compositions:


Below is the birthday card she made for me 🙂


Finally, we both love to eat!

This is for you  little one:

My Daughter

You’ll never really know, my dear,
Just how much you mean to me,
A mother’s love, buried so deep,
That only my heart can see.

When I sit and really stare at you,
All I can do is grin,
Somewhere down deep inside,
I see myself within.

I’d never change a thing in you,
I thank God that your so fine,
Even when your at your worst,
I’m so proud that you are mine.

The roads we have traveled,
were not always that good,
I would take back all the pain you’ve felt,
Only if I could.

I know that I’m not perfect,
It’s the best that I can do,
But everyday, I thank the lord,
For a daughter as special as you.


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