August 1st, 2016

These days, peace and happiness are quite hard to come by. Maybe because we’re too preoccupied with so many things: catastrophes, workloads, personal issues, ambitions that seem hard to achieve. I suspect it could also be my consumption of too much pork and too much sweets, as the husband would quip.

Bottomline is, I’m feeling like I’m stuck in a rut. The same rut that bloody sent crazy people into oblivion!

The feeling is so familiar. Paralyzingly real. It’s when you would just want to sit all day, stare at nothing. Play blind and deaf. Stop minding the world. Disappear forever!

The irony of it.

Indeed, you cannot have a full control of everything — not even your own life. To some extent, I was thinking this year’s my super year because honestly, blessings came abundantly. Friends multiplied. Authority figures became more considerate. And yet, all these self-defeating thoughts… again?

I gave up on the idea that self-help books are a savior. They’re merely business ploys for the authors and merchandisers to earn at the expense of others. The real arena is the self. When conflicting beliefs and ideas arise, that’s when you should be more attuned internally. Easier said than done, huh?

Those Three Magic Words

February 7th, 2012

Yes, those three nice words. How it makes me want to somersault and momentarily fly in mid-air. But sometimes we tend to be so caught up in the busy-ness of our daily grind,  we forget little things that sweeten our existence. Pardon me for being saccharine-y, it’s Valentines day soon, remember?

We become so obsessed with too much complexity. We know how to have fun, but is it in our system to be “appreciative” of simple things? I don’t think so. Don’t tell me you’re not guilty of  it as well. The truth is that happiness don’t really cost a thing. Perhaps, that’s what we miss on hindsight. Like they always say, the best things in life are “free”.

Every day, we leave for work, accomplish things, get into a roller coaster ride of emotions,  eat a lot, play and party a lot, the list goes on. Yet, how many times have we smiled at ourselves, marveled at the strangeness-and-familiarity of things around us? Can you count the times you’ve stared and got lost in the beauty that abounds this world? How many times have you engaged yourself for some time of relaxation such as listening to birds chirping, frogs croaking, ants mating? lol. Have you ever been “still” even for a while?

These are simple things that I myself  am not conscious of.  I tell you it’s not a sin to be cloyingly sweet. Well, unless you’re doing it to hide something (*wink).

Today is fascinating for me. This isn’t the kind of day that makes me sullen with discomfort, thanks that we’re not bothered by a steamy or rainy weather. I was in fact startled that I didn’t get to notice everyday how my mini-me’s Faith and Elmo would chorus on their way to school: “Bye Ma (for Faith), Bye Nay (for Elmo)” followed by “I love you!”…sometimes said five to six times before heading out our door. Priceless! (To be continued)


January 25th, 2012

I don’t know why but I’ve always been tempted to start my blog entries with over the top drama. Like most people, I think my motivation factor when it comes to writing springs from gloom and darkness. You bet, it’s quite unfair. My life is sprinkled with much happiness and excitement, in the same way that i experience sadness. If it’s true that the universe reflects how you look at life, then I might be sending the wrong signals. This time, I resolved not to be a pain in the ass by emphasizing too much on the drama factor, lest I create the impression of living a very boring existence.

Not at all. Scratch that. Definitely NOT.

A working mom proves to be a challenging role. Then again, everything is compensated when you come home to a family…a real one…with arts/crafts materials littered on the floor, or candy wrappers inserted on some crevice…where kids sometimes quarrel on petty things, where a husband gyrates in front of you like a porn star, but embraces your flaws and goodness just the same especially during your most vulnerable moments.

Now, am I not being dramatic again? (Smiley)

The first month of the year came out pretty well. I had several good news to boot, and some lessons learned too:

1. Never underestimate the power of old age. Some people gets sharper and smarter as they approach twilight, they’ll sometimes hurt you with the tip of their sharp edges! Nonetheless, learn from their wisdom. I just finished organizing a workshop where the bigwigs of my insti attended. To me, that was quite a feat to be convening all the senior consultants and partners in such a short time but I made it. Save for some mishaps, everything else was a-okay.

2. Be open and diplomatic. Criticism is a good thing, as they say. You just have to learn how to extract the gold from the trash

3. It’s possible to do a one-man-show/multitask to the hilt, to fail and succeed at the same time on your tasks, so never be sorry for the mishaps/disasters — those are meant to improve and sharpen your learning curve

4. Never give in to what others will say behind your back. They can crush you down only if you listen to their unnecessary whims. If there’s anyone more knowledgeable about yourself — it would be YOU. No one else, period. Hold on to yourself no matter what. Trust, love, and believe in your own capability. Remember that this world is transitory. We know not what happens in the course of time. Talent, beauty, intelligence, power — they all wane and disappear. They eventually become irrelevant. But wear a good heart and you’ll leave a legacy worthy of emulation even after your own “finish” line!

There goes! Way to go….

Some “Techie” Stuff and Being in Transition

December 27th, 2011

I usually leave all techie-related concerns to the more techno-savvy guy that is my husband. Computers and electronics are his domain, his mini-universe. He thrived well in it like a fish to the sea.

But these days, I seem to have found just the right amount of wisdom in buying my own gadgets, minus his advice. For once, I saw him buy the same phone I bought for myself. That convinced me that maybe, I am improving in “his” department. There is fun every time we exchange notes about the best android apps, or when tells me about the anti-virus software, when I show him the lovely themes I unearthed at the market site. Same thing goes for my new found love for Kindle. All my collections were from his e-reader. I think it goes without saying how two people must have a few things to enjoy in order to build a stronger union (Ugh. Why do I always hear a nasty buzz inside my head? Shooo!)

On another note, I feel the need to re-examine how my existence has been. Generally speaking, 2011 has been rife with worthy triumphs and unspeakable challenges — at work and career, personal relationships, spiritual life, even in love. But mostly, the year has been a good one. I realize this as I look back and ponder. Have I become my self’s better version? Or have I messed-up big time?

My life, just like everybody else’s, is not free from ugly imperfections. In fact, mine is filled with unmindful decisions, dumb judgments, and sometimes, shameful paralysis (not knowing what to do). Which reminds me about what Churchill once said, “If you are going through hell, keep going” — for how else can you recover from failure or problems if you will continue to wallow in self-pity. Nothing comes out when you keep all the anger to yourself. One day you might just see your brain burst wide open in protest. Why don’t you fight and release all that has to be flushed out of your system. The magic word: keep going!

For all the blessings, for keeping my entire family safe and healthy, for keeping us all together — I will forever be grateful. My family provides the necessary inspiration to fuel me to do what I must. Although sometimes, I also start to wonder if I am doing a good job as far as parenthood is concerned. Our lives is our message to the world, might as well make it inspiring.

We may be guilty at times of succumbing to plain dumbness, but we will never be forsaken by the One. Ever wonder why when we are about to fall flat on our face, an unknown force lifts us up, and makes us see the bright side?

My battlecry as I transition to 2012? When life give you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!



Random Thoughts on a Cold Thursday Afternoon…

December 22nd, 2011

You told me to stop being this and that, after my attempt to hide my misery and after fighting the urge to cry a lachrymose river. I wish yesterday wasn’t real, but you said it so right — it happened for a reason. Bad things happen to those who are bullheaded and don’t learn their lesson well.

Actually, your observation is partly correct. Most of the time, I tend to over-believe in human goodness…that  people are absolutely good and are not capable of hurting others in any way possible.

Not the case in “real” life, though. Out there, its a dog-eat-dog world. Some will use charm to lure you and bait you and before you even knew it, you have been branded a victim.

It’s sad that even at Christmastime, scammers/opportunists work double-time, competing with Santa Claus. They will rob you of anything they can. If you aren’t the scrutinizing type, if you are gullible, well then sorry. Flashback to the first time I was victimized by a robber, that early, I knew I can be an easy prey to friendly people with hidden motives. I thought that will be the last time. Remember? I cried the whole week, left my teaching job, moved place, and found a brand-new life. I recovered the money I lost, several times over. I even helped my folks back home.

But it happened again this time.

In a sense, you said I am lucky. At least in those situations, I don’t have to fight for dear life. Thus, in the succeeding weeks and months, you offered a solution. Thank you, I think its a magnificent idea.

How difficult it is to keep your life abloom when out there you are surrounded by peril. Imagine Damocles’ sword hanging over your head. My impression is that the humanity has come to a point when “guilt” or “conscience” has become irrelevant. With all the sufferings and poverty we have, some important virtues no longer apply to most people. What matters for them is that they continue to live, no matter what it takes. But I don’t get why some people (especially those who wouldn’t actually qualify as poverty-stricken) make fraudulent activities their bread and butter! To me, they are nothing but blood-curdling cosmic dusts who deserve to be extinguished on the face of the universe!

Of course this is cliche but I often forget this one: we should trust only to those who deserve it. We need to be cautious at this perilous times. And whatever purpose or message God is giving me through this, I know it will be for the better. Whatever business He has for me, I know it’s meant to enrich my whole being.

And hey, thanks for comforting me. I love you more for that.

Page 2 of 14
1 2 3 4 14