Personal

Murphy’s Law, or Not

December 7th, 2011

My two-year-old ATM card has gone without a trace. Not even a plain “bye” or “good riddance, you ain’t givin’ me fat paychecks! No way I’m staying!”.

So now, I am left with a lovely ten peso coin in my purse. If I may add, I was also able to reach home “late” on the very day I lost my ATM card.  Turns out, the driver forgot the very basic function of gasoline on his vehicle. He didn’t mind checking if his jeepney will still run all the way to San Jose  from Cabanatuan. The passengers, including yours truly,  looked like some poorly-jammed sardines in a small can.

I came home late, stayed longer at our house’s gate than usual. The man was sick, the kids probably didn’t notice my SMS asking for someone to please come down and open the gate for me.

And this is how I came to remember Murphy’s Law.

Murphy’s Law is a popular adage that states that “things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance,” or more commonly, “whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” (Wikiquote)

However, I would love to think about it this way. Sometimes, things go haywire because they  have to. No warnings. No clear signals. Maybe because a bigger purpose is about to unfold. Do you will for bad things to happen? Only masochists and sadists do that. As much as possible, we wish for things and situations in our life to go smoothly: for the kids to get the gold in Math competitions, for you to “somehow” receive your cash bonus (smiley), for the husband to raise funds for the car (uhm, that was quite a consumerist mindset), so on and so forth.

But clearly, we don’t cross the line into full-on Byrne-esque kind of disposition when it comes to achieving some sense of positivity. Not to the point of blurring-out or not recognizing that misfortunes or bad moments may actually exist in real life. Murphy’s law or not, we have to accept that things, whether good or bad, happen. It may be out of pure coincidence or the other way around. Then again, it is the attitude that counts. Like they always say, you create your own destiny, you create your own self. How else can you be a better creator than by acquainting yourself with good and bad, sweetness and bitterness (of life), happiness and sadness?

After a string of unlikely situations, thank heavens for clarity and peace of mind…and support people…I’m back to the happy ol’ me…no stress…

Sibuyas Ka Ba Kasi?

November 29th, 2011

 

Over the past few days, I’ve been like an onion: easily permeable, as if anything done or said against me can crush my soul to teeny-tiny pieces (hahaha. drama queen). But then again, it happens. I don’t mind being transparent as long as I can guarantee that no (innocent) life gets ruined. Now that sounds really funny.

I wonder where that high level of sensitivity came from. Am I becoming too emotional to the point of bothering myself with inanities? Or maybe, its just another manifestation of praning days ready to rumble. My theory is that, Mother consumed a lot of sibuyas while I was in her tummy. Makes more sense.

Today, I just feel like sharing this (from Yahoo’s horoscope for Gemini’s):

People who want everyone to be happy can never be good leaders — they’re too busy keeping everyone’s needs satisfied. There will never be enough time in your life for planning and ambition if you are too concerned with communicating clearly with other people. Don’t bother to ask for permission to do what you want right now — you can ask for forgiveness later if you need to. You know what you are doing, and people are ready to follow your lead. Show them the way to go.

 


Pure, Unadulterated,Wednesday “High”

November 23rd, 2011

 

You think life is hard as shit? Oops. Not too quick. Think again. You see, life can be uber fun and rife with pleasant surprises. It can be harsh, yes, but it can also take you to a whole new level.

Yesterday, I was absolutely floating in mid air. Zero gravity, dude! And if it isn’t obvious enough why this sudden “high”, here’s why.

I browsed eBay for something I’d been hoping to have since early this year. In 2010, I had to shell out my entire Christmas bonus and savings as counterpart for my parents’ piece of land in Bicol. I didn’t actually bought anything for myself. But I finally found this thing on eBay and was instantly mesmerized. It’s been discounted at 30 percent off. Instead of paying its original price pegged at 8.5K, I was able to have it 5.9K.


A day after my payment confirmation, I received an email stating when I shall be receiving my package. A couple of days more and voila, I already get to enjoy its many surprises. Life after all isn’t all crap and shit.

Now I will have a reason not to squeeze in my schedule the yearly book fair, which is quite inconvenient on my part as I’m not based in Manila. Besides, my Amazon Kindle 3 can hold up to 3,500 book titles. Suck it! Hahaha. The only downside, I guess, is that I can’t have local (Filipino) titles. But aside from that, all else is upside: battery life, wireless coverage, PDF support, text-to-speech, plus stacking up against competition. This is one of the best e-readers, so the reviewers claim.

There’s a new version called Kindle Fire that comes in full color, but I’m after functionality. I just need to read, so I don’t mind if my e-reader comes in black and white.

Out of excitement, I asked hubby to fill my Amazon Kindle 3 with books by interesting and favorite authors – Stephen King, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Amy Tan, Chuck Palahniuk, David Sedaris, Franz Kafka, Harper Lee, Ian MacEwan, Malcolm Gladwell, Stieg Larrson, and a lot more. Am currently poring my eyes at Tucker Max’s “Assholes Finish First”, and Steig Larrson’s “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest”.

I can’t thank the heavens enough. Thank you, Universe!

*****************

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.”

Rainer Maria Rilke (Austro-German lyric poet, author of Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus, 1875-1926)

Hello, November

November 2nd, 2011

There goes another “long” weekend. Save for some house cleaning and occasional online spree, I have nothing else to brag (read: blog. haha). Four days went off like a mad shooting star, soaring through the earth in nanoseconds flat. Why, if it were indeed a real meteor, I hardly would ever have a chance to “wish”.  Days pass by so quickly.

Wouldn’t it be lovelier if days and nights were longer?

Anyhoo, no matter what the circumstances, there’s still a lot to to be truly thankful of.  For one, I slept really hard (and good) last night. Deep sleep. The kind that would take you to another realm. Nyahaha. Oh well, some long-forgotten faces appeared in my dream as if they were still very much part of my so-called life.  It reminds me of what others would claim, that when a person appears in your dream,  it means you are being thought of. T’was fascinating though (I mean, the images)…with neat-looking shanties, and pools of water, and nice people…

We just bid October goodbye, and soon after we will all be saying bye-bye to the year that was 2011. Sure enough, many of us keep a treasure trove of bittersweet November memories. I have plenty in my memory box. To me, November is…

  • the synchronized howling of winds and dog wails upon the cold air, sending chills to your spine, marking the beginning of (creepy) marathon stories that will scare the shits out of you
  • spending trips to the countryside, taking part in youth activities such as the “never-ending” roadside beautification, sports competitions, Ms. Gay, Ms. Purok, Ms. Wah, Ms. Patola, yada yada
  • fresh new start to the school year’s second semester, an exciting event after laboring the bloody and discombobulating first semester
  • preparing for the Yuletide season: caroling practice/sessions with the “tropa”, Christmas tree-decorating and lantern-making
  • having to hold hands with the first (dummy?) boyfriend
  • giving that first unsuccessful try at hard liquor (Ginebra)!
  • taking a shot at your first broken heart (hurray)
  • the strong smell of brown earth after the rain,
  • the scent of smoke after burning all the dried coconut palm and mango leaves at your front yard
  • lamenting an unrequited love (ouch)
  • spending all you’ve earned from your first small-time job after college, typing away data from hundreds of field interviews, and seeing mixed emotions from parents: happiness because you’ve finally grown teeny-tiny wings of independence, and pity because you were earning too small

We might not notice, but sometimes life does things in order to prove a point, or to simply prove that sometimes life is nothing but a “pointless exercise”.  Whatever.

Reunited, After 21 Years!

October 17th, 2011

Who would’ve known that after twenty-one looong years of physical absence, I will bump into my elementary classmates back again. These are the same people who helped mould me into what I am today. The same people I spent my childhood with: tending herbal and medicinal gardens after class, fetching water from the school’s nearby creek to clean our restrooms (we do this especially if we’ve been the assigned sweepers for the day), playing Chinese garter and having fistfights with thereafter, and some sweet things like sharing stories during vacant hours at the stage, near the acacia tree.

Meeting them at my grandfather’s wake reminds me of what Pauline Wilson sings so soulfully:  “With so many roads that seem to lead down to the sea, I wonder which road will be the right one for me? Others may fall away, dead ending left and right – but there is this one road that journeys far out of sight. Have you wondered where your road will lead you?….”

We are all but travelers in this lifetime. And the road we choose to mark our footprints on defines what the rest of us will be. Somebody once said about two very crucial life forces: fate and destiny. It is fate if you simply wait on the promise; it is destiny if you act on it.  Fate awaits you, but you create your own destiny. Right?

I found mirth in them knowing that not all of them may have held a job like mine, but  are genuinely happy in the lives they have chosen. One is now a mother of six. The other one (a cousin  of mine) recently divorced her husband. One guy already has a grandson! One is still single. So on and so forth.

Dear classmates, you’ll never know how humbled and proud I am meeting you even for just a brief moment. Your stories will always serve as a gentle reminder on how I must face my own destiny. Hope to see you guys in summer of 2012 for the planned reunion! I also hope by then, the class will be in full force. Too bad, we lost two of our beloved classmates already. But wherever they are, I’m quite sure they’re having a grand time in the hands of the Great Creator.

 

With so many roads
that seem to lead
down to the sea
I wonder which road
will be the right
one for me 

others may fall away,
dead ending left and right
but there is this one road
that journeys far out of sight
Have you wondered where
your road will lead you?

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