Random Thoughts

Did You Just Say ‘change’?

January 18th, 2011

Not all changes are good, like my mood swings of late. Mostly, I can be a passably-sweet-enough mom and wife. I can try really hard at whipping delectable dishes, I can take good care of our plants and pets, occasionally I can manage to have a chitchat with the man for half an hour (without being cynical), or tidy up the kids’ tornado of thingies without turning into a horrible monster. But these days witness my mood swings heighten like crazy.

Must I blame it on hormonal ‘changes’? For a thirty-something, these ‘changes’ appear monumental.  Suddenly, my senses have become over-sensitive to smell, sights, and sounds. Last night for instance, after a busy day at work, I felt sorry after delivering a litany of sermons. What with my voice so big, friends used to tell it sounds like I swallowed the loudest sound system ever!  The house was in disarray. School shoes and socks were littered everywhere. Tikboy’s food irritates my nose. Unwashed dishes were staring straight at me, as if begging me to throw them somewhere with a massive “taksyapo!’. Sigh.

But the worst change of all, I guess, is the one that’s ravaging parts of our world today – yes, climate change. And no amount of mood changes would equal the wrath it brings to all living beings.

The news being aired at television stations are frightening, claiming lives after lives of innocent people. Aflockalypse. Hot summers in Russia and wildfires in Moscow.Heavy monsoon rains in Pakistan rendering its people homeless. Floods and landslides in China. Harsh winters in the West. Very recently, the number of countries affected by Global warming increases at an alarming rate. I saw clips/footages of Queensland in Australia, Rio de Janiero in Brazil, and Jeddah (Saudi Arabia) literally floating in floodwater.

The Philippines is no exception. Albay and Samar have been inundated with water just as New Year comes in. Last year, there was Ondoy and Pepeng that swept properties, damaged buildings/establishments, and killed scores of Filipinos, young and old, rich and poor alike. We were waterless for half a year due to ‘dry spell’. Aaaagh, I can still remember how strenuous it was going up and down our residence to fetch pails of water.

Prospects in the future  are no good either. Increase in temperature says experts, will massively affect crops and livelihoods. Changes are expected to happen in terms of frequency and intensity of heat waves, floods, droughts, and typhoons,  in agricultural and marine ecosystem’s output and productivity, there will even be reduction of water availability and quality; and increases in the incidence of climate-induced infectious diseases. As a result, people will be exposed to risks posed by these impacts, particularly the poorest. However, everyone is vulnerable and nobody’s actually safe. I wonder if this is really the earth’s way of ‘cleansing’. When I get angry over family matters, its actually my way of getting rid of negativities. No one would want to hold on to grudges for long, lest you risk yourself of contracting cancer or heart diseases. Is it the same as our planet? Perhaps, it can no longer contain methane emissions, etc…

Thinking of the future when you factor in these risks somehow makes it dark and foreboding. What to do now? Do our governments have adaptation and mitigation strategies? Al Gore has this to say, “If we did not take action to solve this crisis, it could indeed threaten the future of human civilization. That sounds shrill. It sounds hard to accept. I believe it’s deadly accurate. But again, we can solve it.” Let’s cross fingers and do our share…I hope it’s not yet too late…

Wicked, Wicked Me

June 9th, 2010

bad1Random acts of kindness can be manifested in different ways. A friend going out of her way to ease someone’s burden. Simple gestures you unconsciously do, yet brings cheer to other people. Throwing candy wrappers into proper waste baskets (especially if you’re inside my house.lol). Uttering kind words. Sharing some chocolates. Being patient.

The list, I tell you, is endless.

Over time, I was able to prove that kindness is contagious and that one generous act is enough to trigger euphoria.  Do one good deed and it magnifies tenfold. Wives are an excellent example. Keep a wife happy and the entire family does!

Actually, I heard this from Kuya Kim at Simply KC this morning: “a happy wife is a happy life”. Sounds ludicrous but that is one hundred percent true. A husband don’t have to look far and beyond to unlock the secrets to a felicitous family.

However, this post is just about the opposite. Guess who’s harboring guilt right now because of an awful deed?

I just blocked a former classmate at my Facebook today. Isn’t it so unkind of me? Most of the time I can be pikon (sore loser), my sisters and brothers, and parents can tell you that straight-face. And I am not denying it. Oh, how many times have I gotten into fight because of this trait. But that’s how I am. It will take time, effort, and will to completely erase it.

Maybe you’re interested why I blocked the poor fella. He just typed the magic phrase: ang taba mo! And there it goes, my day is spoiled.

Thanks for the honesty, but I would have appreciated it if we were close buddies. Unfortunately, you seem to have crossed the border. Plus the fact that my hormones are probably playing on me. Today. This morning!

Finally, I am reminded of this quote, Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns. Don’t worry classmate, once my head cools off — you’ll be removed from the blocked list. 🙂


June 4th, 2010


As usual, I suspect this is going to be another busy day for me, although I can not say for sure whether I’m excited or not. Why does my heart felt odd,  devoid of any emotion. Have I lost my heart somewhere? Oh well, with or without my beating heart, life still has to move on.

I heard the clock strike eight, and after examining myself on the mirror one last time, I scampered to the nearest PUJ station. “Please drop  me off at CLSU”, I told the driver. My eyes surveyed what’s inside the vehicle. Nothing quite exceptional. There were students who looked as lifeless as I am, some employees (I can tell by their uniforms), and then some vendors with their produce.

Ten minutes later, I saw myself alighting the PUJ at the University’s main gate along with other passengers.

Suddenly, I changed my mind. Hey, this brain seems acting strange too. I wonder if this is the same old brain my parents bestowed me with. It felt empty.

The gate was open yet my feet seemed much to heavy for me to stride and get inside. My mind decided that I walk straight ahead, past the century-old trees along the highway. I walked ’til the school was no longer visible. How come there were fewer houses now? I mean, what’s the matter? There has to be houses here! My eyes are deceiving me too. Am I heading to Sitio Batong Buhay in Villafloresta? It sure looked like the same village I brought my entire DC 120 Class in 2006. A remote area.

I walked even farther even all I’m seeing are paved roads, not a single house or building in sight. My blouse felt soggy from combined dusts and sweat. But I kept on walking. Finally I saw a sari-sari store. “Is anybody around?” I desperately need to ask for directions. I am lost. No one seems to hear. A huge, brown dog resembling the Border Collie breed was sleeping peacefully on the store’s hallway. I didn’t know why without any warning, it went ahead and assailed me. Next thing I know, I was thrown off-balanced and it was chewing on my arm like a bubble gum. Fear is gripping me all over. I hate the sight of blood dripping on my left arm. Oh please, God. Let somebody rescue me from this monster. Help, please!

Out of nowhere, two unknown male specie came. The other one introduced himself as a healer. He produced a tissue and an oil then applied those unto my injured arm. Thankfully, I felt better. The other one kept talking about an activity we’re supposed to attend thereafter. “Be ready”, I was told. Another woman came in to the picture. The three of them led me to walk once again. Without question, I followed them.

The place we’re heading to seems familiar now. It was prairie-like on one side and with rice paddies on the other. When you drop by our place in Pili, there’s a small creek at the back of our house. If you follow that route, you will go straight to what I previously described. I don’t know why every time they tell me where to go, I often find an excuse to somehow have my own way. Another surprise character appeared, none other than my mother. She smiled at me and said, “you’re going to be baptized.”.

Sorry? But I’m already a Christian, some x years ago.

I continued to walk anyway, them (two guys, the woman, and my mother) on the prairie, and myself alone on the rice paddies. Then it happened.

I fell on the quicksand! Just at a time when my eyes were staring at the group of people wearing white and doing baptism on water. Help! I can’t breathe!

The woman told me, as if it wasn’t any problem, stick to the hard part, don’t panic and you’ll be fine.

Weeping and tired, I almost wanted to die. What an ordeal but I continued to struggle. I feel the earth is trying to swallow me whole. I held tight with all the strength I could muster, mud and all — until I was safe. Mother asked, “where’s your sandal?”, and I answered back, “Am I going to be the next?”

And it all ends there. My bad dream. What could it possibly mean?

Practicing Alchemy

February 18th, 2010

sdc13424Nostalgia for me, with all its ephemeral flashes and thrills, is a giant lifeboat people cling on to when befuddled with too much complexity. After all, humans are no immune to challenges. As you step up the ladder of maturity, baggage can weigh you down and push you to your limits. You’ll realize that growing up is an extremely overwhelming process yet leaves you no other choice. In order to be saved, a part of you refuses to let go. A part of you is stuck in that momentary brightness when your world revolves only around the mundane.

But eventually, you make peace with the fact that this world no longer puts you at its center, and that there’s more to lollipops and colorful hairpins and fancy paper dolls. So you say goodbye to childhood and innocence. But not for long. Life pierces you to the core and you find yourself tripping down memory lane.

It became my saving grace to recount my childhood days especially when my character is put to test or when I feel like jumping off  a cliff because in it,  I seem invincible. It’s true that there are people and situations capable of prodding us to think or act negatively. No matter how hard you try, obstructions will crop up like pests ready to destroy you from full blossoming. What a feat it is to be a good person! As they say, madaling maging tao pero mahirap magpakatao ( its easy to be human, but its hard to act with dignity). I believe it’s part of this universe’s design to let humans experience conflict, otherwise we would not be able to appreciate life in its fullness.

Honestly, it’s much easier to make sense of theoretical problems than understand real-life issues. Years of training allows you to be an expert in one field or discipline. But when it comes to managing personal life, not even a hundred years of existence can make you demystify life in its totality. There’s no such thing as masters or doctoral degree courses that can provide ultimate answer to every human’s unique questions.

Yet we are also gifted with free will. Viesca expounds “no one who achieves anything significant in life gives up at times when he is supposed to stretch.  Claim your birthright to become a better person with every event that comes your way.  In those moments when things seem too complicated to understand, be thankful.”

We can create something from nothing, turn crap into a thing of value. In a sense, we all can be alchemists of destiny. Instead of relying on nostalgia which is more often than not, erroneous and escapist – we can man our future by living today and savouring the present!


February 3rd, 2010

imagesI slept and woke up to find January’s gone! Am I in another timezone? Days pass by in a blink; although I’d like to think this is a good thing. One is spared from dwelling too much on a not-so-pleasant situation.

It’s still cold at dawn but mostly, cold days have started to compete with warm days. Mornings are made of lovely kaleidoscopic sun rays creeping through my windows. The market where I buy our weekly supplies bursts with an almost summer-y color as it displays baskets after baskets of ripe mangoes, pineapples, watermelons, star apples, and oranges. I bet in a few more days – flowers in different packages will be all over department stores and supermarkets.

In the same way, kite makers have probably began designing guryons, tsapi-tsapis, and boka-bokas. These are popular types of kites well-loved by both young and old. With abundant winds in our Philippine summer sky, what’ll be more perfect for kite-flying?

February, needless to say, is such a fine month. After the pocket-emptying Yuletide, here comes another season to spread happiness around us.

And since it’s almost Valentines Day, I hope it would not sound “cheesy” to talk about courtship that has become underrated and predictable these days. What with the rapid evolution of gadgets and communication devices that made everything possible in a relatively short period of time. An SMS away and you’ll have a taste of what its like to be “in a relationship”.

But have you ever wondered what its like during the old days? Our folks didn’t live long enough to tell us their love stories during the pre-war era. I look up my handy Pinoy Almanac which describe in pictures courtship talk via handkerchief and I find them soooo cute.  Here, take a peek:

If a lady presses a handkerchief on her lips, it means she agrees to exchange letters with a man.


A handkerchief pressed on the eyes means she’s lonely.

When a lady presses her handkerchief on both cheeks, it means she loves you!


When  the handkerchief is pressed on the right cheek, it means yes.


A handkerchief pressed on the left cheek means no.


A handkerchief pressed on the shoulder means ‘follow me’
A handkerchief knotted on the fingers means “I am married/taken. Sorry”

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